A Short Note about Grief

I know it will sound morbid, but I've been thinking about death and dying and grief lately.  My material grandmother died on August 15, 2009, my maternal grandfather died on November 21, 2009, and my father-in-law died on December 5, 2009.  All were in their 90s and lived good, long, full lives; were married to each other/their spouses for more than 65 years each; and enjoyed a combined total of nine children, 16 grandchildren, and too many great-grandchildren to count (maybe around 20?).  But most importantly, they all knew the Lord and will spend eternity with Him in heaven.

Death is always hard, especially around the holidays. It's really painful when you can't go home for Christmas or Thanksgiving anymore. I am not alone in this.  I have many friends who have lost loved ones in the past year, and who are going through their first holiday without a mom, dad or child. The Bible teaches to 'weep with those who weep' and we've shed tears and memories together. Grief is multi-layered and loaded with meaning.


Maybe you are grieving the loss of a loved one.  I don't know what you are facing today, but I do know that God is bigger than any problem. Read Psalms 23, call a friend, journal out your pain. Don't be too hard on yourself if you experience setbacks just when you think you've "gotten over it."  Grief is a process and can look different for every person. Grief is a journey and you are not alone. 

Snore

Yesterday during my group supervision time with one of my supervisors and two other counselors who, like me, are working toward licensure, we discussed the topic of insomnia.  It ended up being a pretty interesting topic, as much for me as for my clients.  So here's a little of what I learned...

Eighty percent of all diagnosed phychiatric disorders report sleep problems, and 100 percent of all diagnosed depression includes sleep disorders.  We all need eight hours of sleep each night (or day) in order to move through all sleep stages appropriately (this includes deep sleep and REM sleep).  When we don't get a full eight hours of sleep, including all sleep stages, we are at risk of a 50 percent increase in metabolic diseases (like high blood pressure and heart disease). 

The best way to improve your sleep is to improve your sleep hygiene.  This includes:
1.  Do not take prescription sleep aids, or Tylenol PM.  These are habit forming, and the half life (the length of time it takes to get them out of your system after you wake up) can last up to 18 hours.  Instead, try the natural remedy Melatonin, easily found in the vitamin section of your local drugstore and costing less than $10 per bottle.  Melatonin is a hormone that can be affected by sunlight, especially during the winter months.  Use the under the tongue, slow release form.

2.  Reduce body noise - lay in the dark, in bed, for 10 - 15 minutes after turning off the lights.  This allows your body time to adjust to the idea that it is night and it's time to sleep.

3.  No television, computer work, or video games at least a half hour before.  Nuf said.

4.  Your bed should be associated with good sleep, not the fear or frustration of not being able to sleep.  If you lay in bed for more than 20 minutes without being able to fall back to sleep, just get up.  (This goes along with evaluating your sleep efficiency - do not spend more than 10 percent of your time in bed NOT sleeping while trying to fall alseep).  Do something relaxing - preferrably meditating or praying in the dark - until you are nodding off.  Then get back into bed.

5.  What is on your nightstand?  This represents your priorities.  Do your priorities help your sleep?

6.  Do you have a good mattress?  Is your bedroom nice and dark?  Does your bedroom have good temperature and air quality?  Is your clock hidden so that it is not the first thing you look at when you wake up?

7.  The secret to sleep onset is surrender - don't beat yourself up or worry about how the next day will be ruined because you are tired - just let it go and relax into sleep.